Integrity vs. Hypocrisy at Home?


Last year I was in Dallas, TX at a Christian speaking event.  The speaker made his points, but throughout the speech, he used his wife as the brunt of jokes in order to add humor to his speech.  A couple of days after the speech, he called me, asking for feedback.  I honestly told him that for a Christ follower speaking at a Christian event I had been disappointed that he had failed to honor and cherish his wife.  He was taken aback and asked for examples, which I gave him.  He called me back two days later and promised to never use his wife that way again.  I hope he had the integrity to do what he said he would do.

 While I don’t like anyone using their spouse as a source of humor, I have a higher standard for Christ followers.  In Ephesians, Paul challenged men to love their wives as Christ loves the church.  So I find it sad to hear  jokes made about marriage that taint the beauty of it.  When we do that, we aren’t practicing what we preach.  That’s one of the reasons we are called hypocrites.

 The unique fact about Jesus is that without any exception he practiced what He preached.  He served others, he healed, he encouraged – and he held people accountable for their actions that came from pride and arrogance.  He even called some hypocrites!  He challenged us to serve – “the first will be last and the last will be first”.  Servant leadership is practicing what we preach – and it starts at home.

How are you loving and honoring your spouse today?

It’s a Crown – I mean Camry!

We finally bought a car!  It’s a used 2008 Toyota Camry.  We didn’t buy it from a dealer.  Those of you who read my earlier blogs about our car shopping saga, asked what we decided.  We visited 5 car dealers, looking to test drive used cards to narrow our choice.  Of the 5, 4 either didn’t treat us with honesty or with respect.  Three dealers outright lied, and one showed no interest in helping us find what we were looking for – and they were a Toyota dealer.  Turns out Camry’s are hard to find on the market and the salesman just wasn’t interested in working that hard.   The one dealer who had great integrity and service, we ruled out because of the features of the car, not their work.  So where did we buy our car?  From a used car dealer we had purchased from previously.  We had experienced his integrity a few years earlier when we purchased a car, so we went back to Jim Kennedy to see if he could help us find a Camry.  He did, he charged a fair price, and we drove away  – once again satisfied customers.   Integrity pays – in repeat customers!

P.S.  Just for fun – The name “Camry” comes from a phonetic transcription of the Japanese word kamuri (冠, かんむり), which means “crown“.

Do you really want to cram more into 24 hours?

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal Article outlined how to do just that with technology. My question is: how do I prioritize my 24 hours so that I’m doing the right things; not just more things. About every 18-24 months, I make it habit to reprioritize my activities. As an action oriented person, I need to check my integrity – does my activities calendar match my values? So, I call this the  “The Prioritization Quiz”. It’s basically 3 simple questions to consider as you go through your list of activities. Here goes:

First: List all the activities you have on your plate.

Second: As you consider each activity by itself, ask yourself three questions:

  1. If this were the only thing in my life, how would I feel?
  2. If this weren’t in my life, how would I feel?
  3. Why am I doing this?

 Here are three things from my own lists over the years and my answers to the quiz:

A – Serving as treasurer for a local sports non-profit

        How would I feel is this were the only thing in my life? Terrible!

        How would I feel is this weren’t in my life? Great!

        Why am I doing it? I said yes when I didn’t want to do it in the first place.

B – Writing a column for the local paper

        How would I feel if this were the only thing in my life? Great – I love to write.

        How would I feel is this weren’t in my life? Sad; I really enjoy writing.

        Why am I doing it?   For the challenge and because I enjoy it.

C – Coaching a children’s soccer team

        How would I feel if this were the only thing in my life? Not good; I don’t really like soccer!

        How would I feel is this weren’t in my life? Great – I find myself stressing over it.

        Why am I doing it? To spend time with my kids and teach values in sports.


A – It’s a no brainer. I should resign as treasurer and have more time for more important things.

B – I need to keep doing this because it feeds my spirit

C – I’ll keep coaching for a while. Even if it’s not my favorite thing, the reason I’m doing it is very important.  

 Take some time and do The Prioritization Quiz yourself. Let me know how you found more time to do what matters in your 24 hours.